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Here's the lowdown on how to subscribe to Allure's print edition for more beauty routines, recommendations, and features. Sex should be fun, but it can also be complicated. Welcome to Sexual Resolutiona biweekly column by sex therapist Vanessa Marin answering your most confidential questions to help you achieve a healthy, joyful sex life.

Here, she answers a reader who is having a hard time receiving oral sex due to her body insecurities. Have your own question? Ask it here.

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Is there any way to put this self-consciousness away once and for all? Let me start with the first layer. However, the labia themselves can sometimes use a little extra TLC, especially the inner labia. You may notice a sticky white substance building up in the little folds right where your inner labia meet your clitoris.

In the shower, pull your outer labia apart so you can gently wash your inner labia with warm water. Use a fingertip to make sure the buildup is washed away.

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In between showers, you can refresh yourself by gently cleaning your inner labia with a damp washcloth or biodegradable wipe. If you take a moment to do this before you and your partner are intimate, it will probably go a long way towards helping you feel more comfortable receiving oral sex.

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You can keep a few wipes handy in your bathroom or purse, or even use some dampened tissue paper in a pinch. Just make sure to be extra gentle, since the area in and around your labia can be quite delicate. Other ways to keep your vagina happy and healthy: try to wear cotton underwear, avoid thongs, sleep naked or in loose-fitting cotton, avoid smoking, and try to eat healthy foods as much as possible.

I just mean that sex can involve sweating, saliva, semen, vaginal juices, menstrual fluid, anal residue, farting, queefing, and so much more. This socialization gets in early and deep, and it is profoundly harmful to our self-esteem and our sex lives. It makes us feel ashamed of our bodies, and it can make us feel unworthy of pleasure.

As a sex therapist, I teach other women how to feel more confident in the bedroom, and I still find myself hesitating to receive oral sex at times too. I get fired up in the moment, and that anger, outrage, and sadness actually help me come back into my body and be more gentle with it.

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Try thinking about that the next time you find yourself feeling self-conscious about your partner going down on you. Remember that you only feel worried about your smell and taste because society has programmed you to feel bad about your body.

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Think about your current or future daughters or nieces, or other little girls being taught to feel ashamed about their own bodies. Tapping into that sense of collective pain and outrage can really help put things into perspective. Finally, I just want to make a quick note that a lot of women have trouble receiving oral sex due to past experiences of sexual abuse.

Sexual abuse can deeply impact your body confidence and the sense of connection you have to your own body. In general, know that your body is deserving of pleasure, and that you taste just fine as you are — but if you'd like to try to make sure you're as clean as possible, the above tips should help put your mind at ease.

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Vanessa Marin is a d sex therapist based in Los Angeles. You can find her on TwitterInstagramand her website. Have a question for her? Celebrity Fashion Video.

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Now, watch years of face masks:. Keywords wellness sex sexual resolution sex tips oral sex relationships dating vaginas vaginal health vaginal discharge.

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